A day in the life of a foster carer
Could fostering fit into your life? We talked to some of the brilliant carers who look after children and young people in Bedfordshire, to hear how they make it work. No day will be the same as a foster carer, but one thing remains constant – everything you do each day will be helping a child to grow and thrive.
A quick note – we’ve combined the experiences of several foster carers into one voice, to show you the different things that may happen in a day. Life as a foster carer is busy – but not like this day in, day out. Phew!
6:30am | Starting the day right
At breakfast, we talk about what’s going to happen today. If children have lived with trauma or no structure, the unknown can be unsettling. Plans help them know what to expect and feel secure. It’s amazing the difference a routine can make – and it helps us get organised.
9:30am | Writing in the contact book
This was a great idea we got from our first training course, Skills to Foster. We’ll note down what’s happened in the week – happy milestones, big challenges… It helps parents to know that their child’s being loved when they can’t be there. They can add questions for us to reply to as well.
Midday | Driving to family time
Taking children to contact visits with their parent(s) can be a big part of our diary, especially for babies who may have three visits a week. We try and get little ones ready in clothes from their birth parents for family time – like with the contact book, it’s about being compassionate, helping Mum and/or Dad feel part of their lives.
2:30pm | Doing the big shop
Some children we’ve cared for find shops overwhelming, others love the change of scene. We always talk about their boundaries and fit around what works for them (online ordering can be a big help). Foster carers get plenty of financial support, including a regular allowance for things like food and days out. Plus there’s money for birthday and Christmas presents, and kit like car seats.
3:30pm | Quick phone call with our social worker
I ring Lou (our social worker) to work out a diary clash. She’s been with us since we became carers, and is part of a team of professionals helping us to do the best for the child we care for. Her monthly visits feel like a relaxed chat with a friend, even though the topic’s serious. There’s so much help out there 24/7, from support groups and podcasts, to mentors, YouTubers and books. We pick what works for us.
4pm | Helping with homework
You don’t have to be an ace at algebra, but encouraging your child to learn is vital for their future. Children processing trauma can be disadvantaged at school – there’s a lot going on in their head, competing for their focus. We meet with their teachers regularly, to make sure we’re doing everything we can to support their education.
5pm | Playtime
Fostering is a big responsibility and of course there’s heavy aspects to it – but there’s so much space for fun and laughter too. Making time for play is number one. It’s key to the PACE approach we’ve been learning, which helps children feel safe. We let Play, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy guide all our interactions. Plus I don’t need asking twice when there’s LEGO involved!
6pm | Cooking dinner
In the kitchen, we get together as a family and share new life skills, like healthy eating, setting the table or following a recipe. This helps older children on their way to being more independent. When any child comes to live with us, we’ll try and find out some favourite meals and snacks to help them settle in.
7:30pm | Bedtime
Fostering is about welcoming children into your home and heart, giving the love and security they need to be ready for their next step in life. Every child finds that in different ways. For some, cuddles at the end of the day are just what they need. For others, physical contact may be off-limits but a story is dreamy. We have boundaries that work both ways, built on communication and patience.
8:30pm | Making time for ourselves
It’s in the quiet moments that my partner and I can reflect. We talk about how the day’s gone and try to work out why challenges may have happened. It’s also really important to take a break and find things just for you, to recharge your batteries. Foster carers and children don’t have to do everything together. Our babysitter knows that if Luton Town are playing a home game, I’m booking her in!
Could you be a foster carer?
You may be surprised at how well fostering can fit into your life. If you think you have room in your heart and your home for a child or young person, we’d love to hear from you.